There was a time when I was crazy about fluency and thought that it was the thing between ME and MY LIFE (“Giants in Chain” Syndrome).
First of all, I totally forgive myself for believing in such an irrational thought for so long because for a kid who is unable to express himself that is true. It cuts you off from your own family and people around you. Its really debilitating and much more debilitating is the belief that you don’t have a right to express yourself because you stammer.It becomes even more difficult when people around you deny your problem.
Secondly, It was a trick that my mind was playing so well with me that I couldn’t catch it 🙂 . It really stopped me from taking action and I waited and waited and waited…for fluency. Let me give you an example- During my engineering, I completely stopped reading my course material. Completely means completely! I thought that if I can’t speak, whats the point in learning anything. Thank god, I had a friend who helped me by explaining some of the coursework before every exam (at the cost of his own preparations!), that I was able to clear my engineering.
But since last 7 or 8 months, when I have started to communicate really well, that my real struggle has started. A struggle which was unexpected. A struggle, where I am not being able to cope with the fact life remains the same whether I stammer or I am fluent (A lot of people won’t believe this!).
Here are the list of real barriers which are waiting to be conquered:
2. Lack of Initiative .
3. Too much planning and Lack of Action.
4. Trying same things again and again and expecting different results
5. Giving up too easily.
6. Not ready to start from scratch.
7. Never focusing on the present moment.
When I can conquer all these, I would be automatically working on my communication and much more, not just on fluency…
I will try to write and share more on these and my journey from childhood to till today in my future posts