My struggle with fluency!!

There was a time when I was crazy about fluency and thought that it was the thing between ME and MY LIFE (“Giants in Chain” Syndrome).
First of all, I totally forgive myself for believing in such an irrational thought for so long because for a kid who is unable to express himself that is true. It cuts you off from your own family and people around you. Its really debilitating and much more debilitating is the belief that you don’t have a right to express yourself because you stammer.It becomes even more difficult when people around you deny your problem.
Secondly, It was a trick that my mind was playing so well with me that I couldn’t catch it 🙂 . It really stopped me from taking action and I waited and waited and waited…for fluency. Let me give you an example- During my engineering, I completely stopped reading my course material. Completely means completely! I thought that if I can’t speak, whats the point in learning anything. Thank god, I had a friend who helped me by explaining some of the coursework before every exam (at the cost of his own preparations!), that I was able to clear my engineering.

But since last 7 or 8 months, when I have started to communicate really well, that my real struggle has started. A struggle which was unexpected. A struggle, where I am not being able to cope with the fact life remains the same whether I stammer or I am fluent (A lot of people won’t believe this!).
Here are the list of real barriers which are waiting to be conquered:
1. Procrastination.
2. Lack of Initiative .
3. Too much planning and Lack of Action.
4. Trying same things again and again and expecting different results
5. Giving up too easily.
6. Not ready to start from scratch.
7. Never focusing on the present moment.

When I can conquer all these, I would be automatically working on my communication and much more, not just on fluency…

I will try to write and share more on these and my journey from childhood to till today in my future posts

9 Comments

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  1. Sachin 8 years ago

    Beautiful. Honest. Full of deep insights. You are almost 'there'!
    Keep walking and writing- as a fvaor and duty to others!
    Lots of love!

  2. admin 8 years ago

    Hi JP… Great post! Just wanted to know… all the struggles which u have listed … do u think they are there because of your stammer? Or despite your stammer ? Because most of those are not related to speech… Do u opine that we sometimes focus too much on fluency that we ignore other issues as these ?

  3. admin 8 years ago

    Hi Harish, These things may have started due to stammering and also depends on individual's personality but as you said they are not linked directly to stammering. All I am trying to point to, is a fact that these and many others things are stopping me and a lot of us from moving forward and stammering is very small part of it!

  4. admin 8 years ago

    nice post JP, keep it up. And yes, don't deprive us of your invaluable experiences so far, keep writing 🙂

  5. Vijay 8 years ago

    Hi Jai Prakash Jee. sachamuch apake jivan me bahut bara badalaav aayaa hai. dhanyabaad .

  6. Kitchen Sinks 8 years ago

    Nice post..i like this post becuase if you want to grow u p in your life you have to struggle.

  7. Greatchandelier 8 years ago

    Ya.. i agree with you..really in every part of life and the key of the success in life is struggle.

  8. admin 8 years ago

    Hi Jp
    Good to know you as real…
    Everybody has its own plus & minus.
    But for we ,we always think,stammering is our greatest minus..
    Congrats to you for realising stammering is very small part of it!

    May you conqure more obstacles & keep going…

  9. admin 8 years ago

    Thank you very much for your so honest share. Amazingly, I too have faced and facing some of what you have mentioned. I too have misinterpreted comunication with fluency for my whole life.
    I completely agree with you on, "It was a trick that my mind was playing so well with me that I couldn't catch it" Thanks again!
    Please keep sharing.

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