1. Difficult words- how do we deal with them?
Before you attempt difficult words- you must learn how to deal with “easy words”, using a technique/ approach in DIFFERENT, but increasingly challenging circumstances. Once you have done that you are ready to do the same with difficult words.
But remember- always move from easy to difficult situations (and words) in a phased manner. If you face difficulties, dont lose heart- just go back to the previous phase and start again. Your SHG (real or Internet or phone based) is the best place to learn this.
2. Do pws suffer from “low confidence”?
Low confidence is not the cause but the effect (outcome) of stammering. When we stammer in presence of others, we feel bad and “low”. Next time, when we meet the same situation or person/s, we suddenly remember the last “bad” episode and feel less confident. This can be solved by gaining small successes in our self help group and re-building our self confidence in this fashion.
3. What is the biological factor behind stammering?
Recent brain scans and genetic studies indicate that stammering may be caused by certain genes, which give rise to certain neuro-physiological changes in our brain as we grow. BUT by the time we are 18 or so, we have developed a lot of psychological side effects (shame, fear, guilt, “victim” mentality, “persecution” complex, self concept- that I am a stammerer, what can I do in life? etc. etc.).
THESE psychological factors become 95% of the problem, by the time we reach adulthood. In comparison, biological factors are less than 5% of our problem at this stage.
You can successfully deal with these 95% psychological issues (Sheehan’s iceberg) through self help groups over 6-9 months.
4. How to raise awareness about stammering in public?
Very simple! YOU give up shame, fear and guilt of stammering. YOU write about it. YOU talk about it- starting from family, friends, neighbours and finally in your school, college, workplace. If you feel scared, do it in a group with your SHG members..
5. TISA is such a wonderful platform. Why dont you charge money for the workshops?
“One barber does not charge money for hair cutting from the other barber!” We ALL are stammerers!
But yes, if we want high quality services, we will have to contribute towards direct costs- which we are doing in the form of Registration fee. All expenses are approved by the Coordinator and shared on internet.
6. Sometime I stammer more in front of my parents- but not at all with strangers- why?
It could be due to a variety of reasons:
1. May be you are very comfortable with your parents and subconsciously, dont feel any need to hide your stammer. And therefore you stammer FREELY in their presence.
2. To the contrary: May be your parents have ticked you off, interrupted you with advise, many times when you were a child- and because of that, now- years later, whenever you open your mouth in their presence, all that subconscious fear (of being interrupted) comes to your consciousness unbidden- and you start to stammer.
3. Do you subconsciously hold your parents responsible for your stammering? A solution could be: sort your relationship out with them; try and “forgive” them internally; have a heart to heart chat with them and tell them what you expect from them-
Please look at me and give me time when I talk to you instead of interrupting OR looking away OR looking at your watch/ cellphone.
Please maintain a normal eye contact with me when I am in a block.
Please dont ask too many questions at the same time, the moment I come in etc etc.
Good relationship is the background for good communication.
Can I request Hemant, Anil plus anyone else, to translate these in Hindi and post it? (I will do the corrections if needed.) Thank you in advance.