My Journey as Stammerer

I was thinking to start the
practice for stammering, then I thought what to practice so I decided to follow
“Apna Hath Jaggannath” as Geeta and do step-by-step whatever written over there.
My first activity was to share my stammering story. So, I am writing this blog
to share some of my incidences of stammering.

I really felt bad when people
mocked me for my stammering. In my childhood, whenever I go to shop to buy
something, I was afraid that I won’t be able to say the things’ names without
stammering and I always became conscious and always stammer as well. J I remembered a
shopkeeper who mocked me whenever I went to his shop, so I left to go his shop.

I was also very much afraid of my
Masi because she once mocked me and I started afraid of her since that day. I hardly
talked to her apart from greeting her. Whenever she came to my home, I greeted
her and went to my room and remained in the room until she left my house.

Later on this habit ingrained in
me “to be alone” and I enjoyed the moment when I am alone. In my locality
children talk a lot, usually talk rubbish and roam here and there. I was totally
opposite I don’t talk much, don’t roam here and there, just study and play. So
my parents were always proud of me and praised me like hell in front of
relatives.

The habit of being alone became
giant in me when I was in 11th and 12th class because I
was preparing for IIT-JEE and I studied full day. Finally I reached to IIT
Roorkee and I felt inferior at many points of time. As habit of not talking,
not sharing anything with people, afraid of talking to people ingrained in me,
so I felt like I was going down at every point of time. I remembered when I am the
part of any discussion, I usually didn’t speak anything and I was afraid that
if I would speak I would stammer and became inferior after seeing the verbal
skills of other people. I wanted to get noticed, but I felt more inferior when
I stammer on any word in discussions.

In my first year, we had a course
of communication skills and we had to give presentation in that course. I was
feeling that jumping from roof was easier than to attend that course. Finally
my turn of speech came one day. I prepared the speech as well as much I could
but when I went on stage to speak I was trembling. I have spoken 3-4 sentences with
lot of stammering and then I told to professor that I couldn’t speak and he
felt pity on me and allowed me to go back without saying anything. I was upset for
full week but I didn’t know how to solve this problem and I didn’t have anyone
to whom I can share this problem.

One more incident comes to mind. I
went to ice cream parlour and I wanted to have Butter Scotch and as I went and
trying to say the name “Butter”, word was not coming out, so I changed the word
and told “Chocolate Cone Please”. I was very disappointed with this incident of
mine, and I went to same shop again and unfortunately repeated the incident.

There are lot of list of these
incidents.

In my 3rd year of my
college, I went to Herbertpur and met Dr Sachin. We were five people over
there, he sent me to stage and said to speak on anything with stammer. I intentionally
stammered on first 2-3 sentences and then I was speaking fluently. It was
totally magic for me. In my usual conversations, I tried to hide stammering and
stammered more, but when I was intentionally stammering in front of Sachin sir
then I suddenly became fluent. Then he taught me about acceptance and gave some
tasks for acceptance. I accepted and I felt such a confident that I started a
group in my college with more than a team of 20 members. I organized one social
festival. I did all this with stammering and didn’t hide the stammering.

Now 3 years have been passed since
I have accepted my stammering. I have achieved lot of things in last 3 years
but I still stammer at many incidents and at many words. I feel that I can gain
more if I will improve my communication and overcome on stammering as much as I
can do. So I have decided to start practicing the techniques written in “Apna
Hath Jaggannath”.

Bye bye for now, I will post my
next blog with the practices I will follow.  
9 Comments

Comments are closed.

  1. Sachin 4 years ago

    Wow – you are a hidden gem! Keep sharing till you become a totally public person… Then nothing will bother you, nothing will hold you back! A day will come when you will laugh at stammering…
    Keep walking…

    • admin 4 years ago

      Thanks Sachin sir. I'll try my best.

  2. abhishek 4 years ago

    Very well expressed.. Keep sharing 🙂

    • admin 4 years ago

      Thanks Abhishek.

  3. admin 4 years ago

    very well expressed sir
    and i too have gone with all such incidents….Thankss to sachin sir a lot 🙂

    • admin 4 years ago

      Mukesh,
      You're going on great path. You have started SHG at IITR. Really proud of you.

  4. admin 4 years ago

    reading about a "person in making" is amazingly inspiring. 🙂 you can find yourself in bits and pieces in his/her story.
    all the best for your journey vikas.

    and i am more than happy to know that there is finally an SHG at roorkee. there was a time, when i was in the city, facing somewhat similar situation unaware of how to deal with all of it. I am happy that someone like me, like all of us, will not face the same misery.

  5. admin 4 years ago

    Wow Vikas! It's really difficult to believe that you were aloof and loved "to be alone" from what I know and has seen about you… That tells what an amazing journey you had! And, this is just the beginning!!

    Keep Marching Vikas… You inspire!

  6. Siddarth Surlakar 4 years ago

    Wow Vikas….beautifully written…….felt like I am reading my own story

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