PWS has really grown from what I can see and read. TISA also has made an entrance. I joined PWS on yahoo group as an eighteen year old. I am M- B-, 25 years old from M—. I am working as a content writer in a content writing firm in M-. A lot has happened in the past six to seven years and I would like to share my journey with you all.
During these past six years I have completed my post graduation and also a diploma course in journalism. Don’t get me wrong, I am not bragging about my education. But I want to tell how for a person with very low self esteem and confidence this is a matter of pride. I guess all PWS will agree on this. From making a normal phone call, to answering a query from a stranger – each interaction was a small victory. The transition from being a nobody to believing that I can achieve anything has been good and overwhelming at times. In school I was a shy, reserved child. Even socially handicapped. But everything changed when I started graduation and decided that I will no longer be silent. It began with voluntarily answering questions in class, interacting. And my stint as an NSS volunteer helped me with my social skills.
Previously I refrained from interacting with people but now I actually enjoy it. I have worked in three companies since then and I have gone for several interviews. And I have not stuttered badly in any interview. I don’t know how this happened. I did not go for any classes, nor did any breathing exercises. I feel it was just a lack of confidence. But there are times when I still stutter very badly. When I am in an emotional upheaval or very angry. I realize I have to calm down in such emotional situations. Emotions that have been bottled up since childhood come out in emotional outburst. As a child I could clearly see the impatience on people’s faces while I talked. So, I just stopped explaining what I am feeling or what I am going through. The frustration of keeping quiet for so many years came out through other mediums. Violent temper tantrums, or need for solitude. I now realize that I have to learn to put my feelings into words. It is a gradual process which I am slowly learning. I am learning to speak up about what I feel. It is very hard to actually ‘say’ what is going on in my mind at times because till the age of 21 I did not do that. So, it’s as if I am learning to talk again.
So, the journey continues. By the way I am planning to take up teacher’s training and be a teacher. I believe that since I have got so much out of life, it’s now my turn to give back to life. It’s the best way I can reach out to children in need and not only those who stutter but also others might have some other learning disabilities. I want to tell everyone out there to believe in yourself and not give up hope. Would love to hear from you all.
(As per editorial policy, we have suppressed personal information.)