Click the image and see the weird message I got, while mucking around with Avidemux. I froze with shock. How did my computer learn that I stutter?
Many years ago, I had a similar experience: I had gone to buy a water cooler; I was shocked when I saw the big taunting name painted in red across its front: STAMMERING !!
I was embarassed, shocked, angry.. What does this silly “two bit” shop keeper mean by this!!
A “second pass” and I discovered that it was: SUMMER KING !! What a relief! :-))
This is a good example of the “sweet obsession” and cognitive distortion many of us PWS suffer from for long periods.. If someone smiles, they must be smiling at my stammer. If I dont get the job, it must be because I stumbled on three words during interview. If X or Y just smiled past without exchanging any words, it must be because they dont like to talk to stutterers; If I am depressed it must be because I stammer. If I can write well, it must be because of my stammer etc. etc. There is literally no end to such thoughts.
It seems, in the long run, we lose our capacity to judge things objectively, in their proper perspective; Our stammering becomes the SUN of our cosmos, around which everything must revolve slowly and steadily. No exceptions.
So what is the way out? Verrrrrry difficult question!! In this stage, nothing seem to help: If the person is suggested: Yoga, Vipassana, Spoken English class, Computer class, this that or a self help group: prompt reaction is: what good will that do? Will it cure my stammer? No, so what is the point? Leave me alone!
I guess, only prayers and mercy from above, can help in this “terminal stage”- or some inner resource, who knows! Okay, let me go back to my Avidemux tutorial..