Trying to solve this great mystery/puzzle of stammering has been such an enriching and exciting experience for me! A few of my thoughts and beliefs that once i was holding on to so strongly and which I thought will help me to “GET OVER” it, seem to change constantly for the good!
One of the most impactfull thing for me has been listening to Eckhart Tolle ( All thanks to Dr Sachin for sharing a lot of videos of Eckhart Tolle with me when I was working with him in Dehradun. ) Eckhart Tolle speaks about only one thing – NOW, and in his own words – “Its a miracle that I can speak so much about something that can’t be spoken about!” :-).
Now first time when Sachin gave me these videos, I was skeptical about spending my time on something like this as logically there seem to be no relation of these video tapes with “cure” of my stammering. (I preferred to spend my time on Day dreaming! ). I am amazed at the power of our minds and in how many ways can it trick it! (Most of us are not as smart as our mind 🙂
But as I see NOW, nothing has helped me to progress forward, more than being aware and present in the NOW! Just by being present in the NOW, I can see the madness and the good things going around me! I can see how I was just running away from a lot of things only because they were not easier to acknowledge, face and solve! Instead I chose to spend my time on facing and solving only those problems that were easier to solve, even if solving( or not solving) them didn’t make any difference! I can also see how i feel, act, react in a particular moment and a lot of times can correct it! ( Quite strangely, I observed that most of the times I was carrying a feeling of frustration and Anger, And hence was inviting more of these things ). Even it has helped me to explore how i feel when i get struck!
As I see now, I was not a good problem solver (Getting over stammering mindset is to me nothing but problem solving!) because I was NOT aware about the now and hence was not able to see the REAL things that were stopping my progress!
One of the most important thing stopping me from moving forward was- blaming others including my father for how my life has been! I read a lot of times about – “You are responsible for your own life! ” and blah blah…And I agreed with it but then too I was not moving forward! Quite strange!! hmmmm…The reason is even though I agreed in my mind but I NEVER FELT it. I NEVER FELT that I was responsible for whatever way my life has gone till now and its a result of all the choices that I have made till now! Now unless i felt it, I was not changing!
Another thing was waiting for motivation/inspiration! As I see now, you can even create a lot of things (including motivation/inspiration) if they are not there, just by taking ACTION!
Now looking back I laugh sometimes when I see that I was running around watching good speakers/debates on TV, learning new techniques when I knew at the back of mind that it was something else that is causing all the pain but never had the courage to face it!
What has been the most impactfull thing/event in your journey? Have you been solving the correct puzzle or are you running away from something ?