Screaming beyond Silence!
No one learns to stutter when they learn to talk .It all starts due to some trigger event.I believe that stammering is more of a psychological problem that a medical one.My oldest memories of the problem that i recollect is when i was 5-6 years old and the elder boys that i played with made fun of it not knowing how much damage it is causing me.Its unfair to blame them as Hritik Roshan (a stammerer himself) says “it is one of those disabilities that is laughed at” and I believe it requires maturity and a proper understanding to realize that it is a problem ,which most young kids lack.
I dreaded going to the local store to buy bread or milk because the shopkeeper used to mock and repeat my words which sounded some what like Ba- Ba- Ba bread and Wa W w wafers. On couple of occasions the other customers just burst out laughing and i cried tears and went back running home.On one occasion a man tried to steal the 50 rupee note that i was holding in my hand for buying medicines and I couldn’t even shout for help..words just wont come out..I came back home with the torn note which the fist of an 8 year old can hold.
Meeting people at public gatherings was always a pain as it required me to talk.to relatives.I avoided telephonic conversations because it made the listener impatient. School rapid reading sections were always pathetic and i wished the bell rang before my turn came in…when it didn’t..I used to shift places with some other friends I had .
Omkar Shibad,Dhruv Mucchal,Aziz Bootwala,Vivek Changoiwala ,Umang Shukla ,Bhaswati Unni, Shruti Menon and Priyanka Pitti are some of the people who realized this discomfort and dared others not to laugh at me.I Thank them today.
Theres a difference between knowing the answers and answering them and I always chose not answering.Eating Samosa was much easier coz I couldnt ask for Wa wa wa wadapav unless the guy is looking at where I’m pointing.
The only times I did not stammer is when prayed or when I spoke to myself.
Time moved on I went to national college(considered to be one of the cool colleges as far as crowd is concerned) and while other boys were busy talking to girls I watched.Slowly and steadily by the beginning of engineering I spoke a bit and realized my views were appreciated and even needed by some.My mother has been my best friend and my coach..and I still remember the times I just couldn’t stop stammering and her eyes would fill.
Today I want to thank all those people who suppressed their smiles while I spoke ..gave me time to complete my sentences and waited for my opinions on things.The only way to cure this is making their views felt needed and it requires more than just hearing …do listen to them.
For any stammerer reading this remember a doctor or a coach can only teach you how to play the game ..but in the end its you who is on the playground . You alone can cure this .If you look inside and find reasons you’ll get one strong reason which can bring out the never before side of yours waiting to be heard and cheered and scream beyond the silence and make it audible to everyone.
I know times have changed now..at times people wish I shut up and stop talking…but its been in there for all these years and now it feels good to hear myself out .Thank you for reading ..keep coming back to Ram’s Realizations.
Click here for a list of stammerers….may be you’ll find someone who you admired !