I am Amol karale.I am a pws from pune. Actually I hails from ahemdnagar(city 120 km from pune).As my father was being serving in Indian army so he posted in pune.He is retried now. Currently we are planning to settle in pune .
I am stammering since class 6th.Till class 5th or 6th starting I was proud that I am a good reader. Teachers always tell me to read in class. Suddenly in class 6th I noticed that I am speaking somewhat different. I was repeating words. I was speaking very late. Teachers and my classmates starting nagging me “arre thik se padh aise kya padh raha hai dheere padh na bhag kyun raha hai”.
I noticed sometimes that I was fluent but at some situations I was blocking or taking some time to speak.I was blocking while reading teachers told me that “atak atak ke padhoge toh ye chapter kab khatam hoga tum mat padho” some other student will read that chapter. My thinking changed after that I was thinking that I am not able to speak. I became a silent person. I always prefer last bench so that I can hide from teachers.I was not even noticing what I was doing why I am doing. I tried to escape situations where I have to speak. Whenever new session of class begins, like during starting of class 9th the first thing teacher do is taking introduction. At that time I was even blocking at my name. Teachers say repeat your name again. I noticed that my stammering was getting worse day by day.Whenever a teacher enters into class my thinking was that “aaj mujhse na pooch le kuch pooch liye toh kya hoga student’s kya sochenge teachers kya sochenge”. During parent teacher meeting teachers told my parents that he does not speak in class, does not answer any question. These were the days when my stammering got worse. My tuition teacher also told my parent that “ye atak atak ke bolta hai”. At that time even I and my parents don’t know there is a speech impediment naming stammering. Parents thought that I am afraid of people. So my parents also started to nagging me as it is natural that if a child is speaking properly in home but when goes outside speaks in some different way.
Suddenly I get relief hearing when I came to know my father posting has come. But it was also making me tense because of thinking of new school new friends’ new teachers. At new school I was fluent for some time (I think the reason was I was not thinking about stammering).But slowly my speech showed its true colors. Teachers were telling me to recite news or thought at stage during the school morning assembly I somehow manage to escape that situations. I started judging days as good days or bad days. My mindset got fully changed I was saying no to every task, whether going to shop or to friends home or tuitions. During class 12th in my practicals I was not even able to tell the aim of practical which I have performed. I somehow manage to pass class 12th from school.
Now its future time I never have develop any interest in any entrance examinations like CET,IIT,AIEEE I thought that how will I be able to do engineering if I am not able to speak I heard that during engineering we have to give lot of orals exam and presentations. I decided to do Bsc in computer science .First year of graduation gone well. But in second year there were presentations to give as I not expected that. I somehow manage to skip these presentations also. I lost my concentration from studies to stammering. I was always thinking that what will I do if I am not able to speak? During the ending of second year I came to know about stammering from a television show. At this time my father came to know that there is a speech impediment naming stammering. Then I started taking speech therapy in pune .I get little relief from it but not completely. I was thinking that I am wasting my parent’s money in speech therapy since my speech was the same again. At this time I have almost lost my concentration from studies. I somehow manage to complete my graduation but I got less marks here.
There was biggest question in front of me what to do next?????
I decided that I will also do post graduation. I have 2 options to do Msc(computer science also known as MCS) or MCA.I decided to do MCA because MCS is a 2 year course and per sem we have to give presentations and MCA is 3 year course here I will get more time to work on my speech.
Currently I am in first year of mca. During the starting of MCA I came to know about TISA. Pune shg was not regularly taking place.But the coordinators somehow take time and conducted some shg meeting. Here First I came to know that ACCEPTANCE is solution for it and after accepting working on it. After that I started accepting that I am person who stammers I told my friends and my teachers. As a result teachers give me time to speak. Friends also wait till I complete my sentence. I don’t feel any guilt in stammering now. My attitude towards stammering has changed now.
I never thought that acceptance will be a solution for such a problem. THANKS to TISA and pune shg coordinators MR. pravin dixit,MR. sanjeet khanujha,MR. Rupesh Mishra. They have taken some time from their busy schedule and come for meetings.
At present I am trying to form a Pune shg again with some pws .I know there is much practice needed to get progress in speech. I am concentrating fully on my studies now as to get a good job I should get good marks first and practicing various techniques like bouncing, slow reading and prolongation.
Again Thanks to TISA
Sorry for any grammatical and spelling mistakes
- Thursday December 5th 2019“Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing.” … more
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