My vacation and some stray feelings

           I had planned this trip two months ago. I had to visit Pune to meet my Guruji after a gap of three years. My mother and wife were to accompany me to have a vacation .
          We went from Delhi to Pune and visited my Guruji. We did local sight-seeing for two days at Pune. We then visited Shirdi Sai temple and Trimbakeshwar Shiva temple near Nashik

         I was most fascinated by visiting the ruins of palace of Peshwas(Shariwar Wada) at Pune. Our guide informed us about the grandeur of that palace in its hey days. Today’s ruins are in sharp contrast to what the palace used to be about 300 years ago.
          Since I returned from this trip, I often remember the royal life of the Peshwas and compare it with today’s remains of the buildings. Our human life-span seems to be so short when we compare it with the age of old monuments, palaces , temples etc.
            Now when I think about myself, I remember my foolishness in running away from my stammering. I had always thought that I could have achieved much more in life if I did not have stammering. But on remembering the ruins of ‘Shanivar Wada’, I think that those kings and their grandeur has vanished into the endless corridors of time.Our own lives are links in the vast eternal life. 
            I resolve again to use my life in constructive activities rather than dreaming about “what would life be like if I did’nt have stammering”. I was not able to practice slow reading and other  techniques for the past fortnight during this trip. After joining my office I observed that my stammering has increased. But I did not  feel that I have committed a sin by not practicing techniques. I simply started my daily speech practices again without any feeling of guilt. 
            There are many wonderful things to do in this life than running away from stammering. But at the same time we need to work on our communication skills, various techniques, acceptance, emotional equanimity etc. and welcome life with open hands and a smile.
Abhishek Kumar
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Post Author: Harish Usgaonker

4 thoughts on “My vacation and some stray feelings


    (April 25, 2014 - 5:39 pm)

    Abhishek ji, great initiative…


    (April 26, 2014 - 2:41 am)

    Being free of shame and guilt is the most important thing for a pws – but very few people realise this OR acknowledge this. Life can be a lot better, if we could accept ourseves a little bit and deal with the task at hand as it comes .. Task at hand is often just getting across a piece of information. A zen master was said to : He eats when hungry; he sleeps when tired. That was his grea achievement. He was no more living in past or future. He was living in NOW. That was his spiritual realization. Of course, there will be many ways of reaching such un-complicated understanding of life and communication – …


    (April 26, 2014 - 6:30 am)

    Good post Abhishek.


    (April 26, 2014 - 8:14 am)

    Very true that we get bogged down to stammering thread always once we start our day. You have really pointed the number one problem for each of us. Another important thing which we started talking at Pune SHG is the communication with ourself. Probably we are not aware, but it is the most important aspect of our life. We need learn replacing the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Moment we learn that we feel better and we also stammer less. Another thing is acceptance in a positive way and not by a victim mentality. Stammering is feeling in mind. So learning to feel better is half the problem solved.

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