Dil Se..

(Truth has a power of its own; a way of its own. It can go straight to our hearts- and solve deep problems in the twinkling of a moment. Following testimony has done the same for many of us and therefore, we are sharing it again. It was published in Samwad in the beginning of this year. Thank you Karthik! You have done a great service to this community by sharing your thoughts. Ed.
 
I had gone thro’ lot of struggles just like you have gone thro’
without which I can never imagine to be who I am right now. Every coin
has 2 sides. So if you are going thro’ some struggle, just be calm and await for a wonderful life waiting for you in the next side. 
My
life as a stammerer has always been shy, embarrasement, depression,
advices from people which sometimes makes me frustrated and angry on
myself. People used to compare me with them to their girl friends and show they are
better than me. Even though I had the tools and talent, I was not able
to express it. I felt that In this life communication is all and without communication, there is no life. Ofcourse upto certain
extent communication plays a vital role in a individuals life. I tried a
lot of things in life. Went to speech
therapies, tried out yoga, meditation etc., to come out of stammering.
The more I tried, the more frustrated I got to be. More low feeling and a
sense of failure used to kill me always.
One fine
day, I realised that no one in this world is going to help me. They are
behind money only. The only person that can help me is myself. I started
to do a lot of hard work. Woke up early. Did meditation, Yoga etc.,
Since there was no good place near my house, I used to travel about 10
kms every morning in my bike and practice in Cubbon Park alone. I found it very helpful. I quickly made a lot of friends in
Cubbon park who were regular joggers and I enjoyed my daily practices.
Many folks approached me during this time and I
thought why not start one Group for the stammering people alone? So in
the year 2002, I started a small group who were just PWS and we met in
the cubbon park weekly. 
Slowly the strength began to fade off and I was left
alone. That was the time when TISA started its operations. I joined the
TISA movement. I was actively participating in the sessions until I got a new job. The pressure of work in the new job, made me irregular to attend the sessions. 
Getting
a IT job in those times were very difficult for me. Once I had attended
an interview in a MNC company in Bangalore. There were about 7 to 8
rounds. I successfully completed all my rounds and was waiting for the HR
round. One of the trainee HRs in that company was my close friend. When I
was waiting for the next round, She told me that I was selected and the offer letter is ready. I called up my house and
said that I was selected and I was waiting for my Offer letter. I was
very excited and was waiting for the chance to
grab my first IT job. My name was called and I went into the HR room.
There the HR asked me the tell about myself. I stammered severely due to
the anxiety and happiness on seeing my offer letter on the HR
person’s hand. Seeing me stammering, the HR blindly told me that I would
not be able to offer you this job since you stammer. You need to communicate with the offshore team and also attend client
calls. If you stammer in those calls, our company name will spoil and he
just destroyed the offer letter in front of
me. This was a very disheartening to me and I was emotionally down. More
than the failure of loosing job, I didnot know how to face my family
and my close friend. 
Ofcourse I got a new job in a startup company in the
next week but this experience had struck me very badly. I started to
concentrate on my new job. Worked a lot to improve my knowledge. After about 2 years of working in that startup company, I
started to get interview calls. Interviews were like a cake walk for me
during that time since I had gathered good
experience in my field. Ofcourse I stammered but that was overshadowed
by my experience and confidence. I hopped 4 jobs in a span of 3 years. I
used to just attend interviews for experience and gaining confidence. 
Now
also I stammer. But the difference now is I stammer openly without
hiding. If people laugh at me, I too laugh with them. If people try to
ask me why I do this way when I speak, I say I stammer. If people advice me, I just
listen to them with out any sense of anger or feeling low. After all
they are advicing because they care for me. In some occasions
when I attend interviews or give a presentation, I tell the audience
that I stammer at the start itself. Some folks really encourage me and
tell its completely fine to stammer. This really helps me to ease myself in the starting itself and I complete my speech with less difficulty.
Some
events in life made me to be totally hard on my emotions. But without
those experiences in life I would not have been in this position right
now. I now work for a MNC in Bangalore. Ofcourse much better than the company
that dint offer me the job at the first. Maybe god wanted me to go thro’
the tough roads to make me a better person. 
During
2011, I planned to host skype calls everyday to help myself improve on
telephonic conversations and conferences. Its still now going pretty
well with a lot of people joining around the Golbe. I now have about 700+
people in my skype contact list. I have made it a daily activity to
remove about 10 irregular attendees from my list to accomodate
new joinees in my list. Its fun and very helpful not only for me but
for those who attend regularly. I am humbled to say that it has touched
many people’s lives and they have made full use of it.
In
this letter I would like to thank my stammering without which I would
not have been in this position or in this job. I thank my stammering to
all that it has done to me. At the end, it is my life. I have the power to design
my life and the power to make it inspiring to others when they get to
know me. I know its a long writeup. If you have reached till this end I appreaciate you for the patience in reading this. 
If
at all this sharing has touched you in any sense, do email me your
comments at aishkarthik at gmail dot com and I will be delighted to hear
from you.
Dont let stammering come in front of you. You are bigger than your stammering. 
Thanks
Karthik.R

Mob : 9741200991

3 Comments

Comments are closed.

  1. lashdinesh 5 years ago

    A delight every time I read it..

  2. abhishek 5 years ago

    Karthik along with Rajesh were the two people whom I first talked within TISA. Of course you guys have touched lives of many people like me. Cheers and keep it up ))

  3. admin 5 years ago

    Great Karthik…….Truly we are bigger than stammering.

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