Stammering is a Blessing, an Opportunity for Learning and Growth

Dear friends, this is Prasannajit. I have collected some knowledge from different
sources and I want to share that with you.
Analysis of Stammering
CAUSE: Root cause of stammering is fear, stress and
pressure
. Fear of what people will think/say. Pressure to speak instantly,
speedily like others to prove that you are a fluent speaker and to finish
speech as soon as possible. Any person when stressed beyond a limit, stammers.
Stammers remain very much stressed and depressed due to their stammering. All
these fear, stress and pressure come out in form of stammering. So stammering
is nothing but a manifestation of inner stress n fear. Fear is always in mind
(sub-consciousness).

WHAT HAPPENS AT THAT VERY MOMENT: When someone asks you something,
your conscious mind wants you to speak up but subconscious mind hold you back,
bcoz it fears that people will laugh at you like before and so it directs
body’s survival mechanism to spring into action and hold you back. Now there is
a conflict. Articulators experience the two opposing forces at a time, so they
stuck and can’t move as they should. And the outcome is disfluent speech,
stammering. So stammering is basically an unintentional and unrequired
misuse
of survival mechanism, thinking about an imaginary fear.
SOLUTION: You need to remove the causes. First is fear.
Stretch/open-up and smile all day long with/without any reason.
Smile and
fear can’t co-exist. Make eye contact while speaking. It gives you confidence.
Confidence and fear can’t co-exist.
Second is stress. Do meditation. Meditation is present moment awareness. It
is nothing but to be aware of things going on right now right here and
accepting them willingly and whole heartedly without any judgment.  Resistance leads to persistence (of negative
things), acceptance leads to disappearance (of negative things). Negative
emotions disappear with witnessing. However the better news is that good
emotions increases with witnessing.
Third is pressure: Speak
spontaneously without thinking. Speak with pauses and taking breaths and
let
the words come out on their own. Don’t force the words.
While
talking, be in present and be total aware of the situation, people, your
thoughts, and things going on in your body.
Now some additional tips
Ø  We normally
think, “If I achieve A or if A happens, then I will do B”. Ex: If I talk
fluently, I will be happy and smile. Ex: If I achieve fluency with friends, I
will talk to people in authority. The trick is: “Do B and A will automatically
happen”. Ex: If you start smiling, you will talk fluently.
Ø  The only way to escape any problem is
to face that problem. Face the fear to make it disappear! Action cures the
fear. Repeat actions again and again till your fear goes away completely. Take actions (just speak
up) without thinking much.
Ø  Fear can’t make you fear anymore, once
you face it boldly. By approaching a feared situation, either you win or you
learn. So there is never any reason to
hold back to approach situations in life.
O son of Kunti, either you will be killed on the battlefield
and attain the heavenly planets, or you will conquer and enjoy the earthly
kingdom. Therefore, get up with determination and fight.                   (Bhagavad Gita 2.37)
O dear! Either you will talk fluently and enjoy the beauty
of fluency or you will stammer and learn where you made the mistake. Therefore,
go out with determination and talk.
Ø  Love yourself the way you are. It will
cure your fear. Love, accept n thank yourself as a stammerer without
any shame. The moment u start self-acceptance/love, your self-confidence starts
shooting up by itself automatically, your stammering starts melting away.
Ø  Say
smilingly “thank u” to each n
everything, especially to your stammering, fear, pressure, stress n anxiety.
Thank all living and non- living things the whole day. You can refer a book
“Magic” available online.
Ø  Be in present. Remain 100% conscious
while speaking. Be fully aware of surroundings and people with whom you are
talking. Don’t let your automatic mode start.
Ø  Don’t attach any thought with your
speech.
Ø  Doing a new thing is difficult
initially. You forget repetitively. But with a little conscious practice it becomes automatic and easy.
Ø  Fighting
never solves any problem. Fighting creates/attracts more fighting. Whenever any negative thought comes,
say thank you to it. Say thank you to the negative situations. Whatever is
happening to you, is correctly happening and for your benefit only.
Ø  Pain/
suffering is the only teacher. Be thankful to them always. Give them the
respect of teacher.  Say thank you
to stammering. Be thankful and say thank you to sufferings. And they will
vanish.
Ø  The best way
to solve all problems in life is to be THANKFUL for everything with a heartfelt
SMILE… Just start today: “THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU”
with a BIG SMILE to every little experience of your
life.
Ø  Remember, If
You Believe It and you believe that you deserve it, then You Will Achieve It! You
get what you believe you deserve not what you desire. If you start believing
that you deserve more success, automatically you will get more success.
Ø  You can’t
love and help others if you don’t love and help yourself. Trust yourself, trust
your abilities always. Accept and love yourself the way you are.
Ø  Had you not have
the problems which are currently in your life, you would have some other
problem bcoz the sum has to be zero. If you had not stammering, then you would
have any other issue say weak health. So why you are taking tension?
Ø  Each and
every problem in your life comes to teach you something, to help you grow. So
they are teachers. Be a sincere learner and learn from them. Respect them. Be
grateful to them. Positive situations hardly teaches you something, many times
you get so much attached to them that you make mistakes. Ex: Money mostly
brings arrogance which makes you do wrong and you get sorrow finally. On the
other hand problems take you on the path of spiritualty and makes you happy,
successful and stronger. Start learning, start living.
Ø  For you
specially, you deliberately go and talk with people i.e. you go and talk from
your side. When you, approach fear from your end, fear has no way but to leave
you quickly and permanently. Kisiko itna bhi mat darao ki woh darna hi chhod
de. Currently what you are doing is, you are waiting for situations and people
to come to you. Don’t wait, rather you go to them. Action cures fear. Knowledge
cures fear. Practice cures fear. Repetition cures fear. Make mistakes confidently. Mistakes give you opportunity to
learn.
Ø 
Focus on what you want, not on what you
don’t want. Sometimes automatically our mind starts visualizing things which we
fear, which we don’t want. Trick is to consciously
visualize vividly/ focus /think on
what we want so that mind will not automatically think the opposite things.
Secret is that mind can’t think two opposite things simultaneously. EX:
Normally when a feared situation comes, your mind automatically starts
visualizing you’re stammering and suffering. So at that time you first focus on
those negative things which are coming to mind automatically, be aware of them,
and simply watch them without any judgement. They will go away. Don’t fight
with them. Now start visualizing positive things (speaking fluently and
confidently.)
Ø 
Laugh on others stammering. See people
stammer in youtube videos. Make your own comedy stammering video. Watch and
laugh.
Ø 
Jindagi jab bhi rulane lage, toh aap
itna haso ki dard bhi sarmane lage. Aur nikal na payien ankon se ashun
kabhi, aur naseeb bhi majboor hoke hasane lage.
Contributed By: Prasannajit.
Editor’s Note: 
The post is a personal opinion of the writer, which was
contributed on mail, and not that of TISA.

TISA believes that stammering is a neurological disorder
with no known medical cure till date. 
However, acceptance and self-help will
help a great deal to conquer the stuttering mindset. We do not necessarily have
to be fluent, but we should strive to be good communicators. Off course, trying
out all other things that helps you is also part of this journey. For eg. writing
such articles like our friend Prasannajit. 

Thanks Prasannajit for contributing this detailed writing.
We appreciate your efforts for putting this all together. All the best!

 
 

4 Comments

Comments are closed.

  1. Sachin 3 years ago

    Congrats Prasannajit! Great analysis.. but dont stop. Keep learning. Stammering is like that old Indian wisdom story: Five blind men and the elephant. There can be many "readings" of the same indefinable TRUTH.. in this case, our good old "stammering"!! Keep writing and sharing..

  2. admin 3 years ago

    Great Very Good Prasannajit, Your article requires to be read daily before starting of a day. You must have spent a lot of time and energies in writing this wonderful piece of article. Moreover you have given some wonderful solution to the fear, stress and pressure problem.

    You beautifully explained the approach-avoidance conflict by using analogy of conscious and sub-conscious mind. I really liked it.

    Now I have some suggestions and doubts. For doubts, I would like to contact you, so please share you details with me at surajdhunna@gmail.com or 09654506719

    I have just one improvement to suggest. In your first paragraphs, you mentioned about the cause of stammering. You explained fear and pressure but you didn't explain stress. Is stress derived from fear and pressure? If yes then, it's not an independent variable (Sorry I am an Engineer and Future Economist :)). Considering the research that you have done to write it, I think you must have gone through a theory known as "The Stuttering Hexagon". I have wrote an article on it recently on this blog. Please go through it and review it. I think pressure concept is somewhat missed in this hexagon theory.

    http://t-tisa.blogspot.in/2016/02/this-article-was-first-published-on.html#more

  3. Prasannajit Khatua 3 years ago

    Thank you Sachin sir and Suraj ji for your kind words.

  4. Rahul Dhobi 3 years ago

    Very motivational article !! thumb up.. Keep motivating .. 🙂

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