I have a dream from my childhood to take part in theatres and Nukkad Natak. When I was in my schools my classmates take part in various cultural activities but I always bother how others might think about me as I stammer. So I never took part in any cultural activities till class 12 and it impacts on our overall personality. Because of this Extra Circular activity, a student can know there real nature and one can become more bold and confident. Till 21 years I never bothered about extra circular. But after joining my new college and meeting so many talented guys here, I found its difficult for me to mark my place in this competitive world. So I decide I will take part in those activities which I never tried and I joined theatre auditions. I am really very scared, although I filled the Registration form but that constant fear of stammering haunting me.
Finally, it was the D-Day. There are about 50 participants in auditions. And first activity is to scream your name and place loud so that everyone can hear it in the crowd.
I have gone there screamed I am Bh….Bh……Bh…..Bh…….Bhupendra, I am from Ujjain ( I didn’t tell Nagda because still, that fear in my mind didn’t allow me to do so. ) then crowd asked me to repeat. I repeated it around 4 times. Then we are divided into separate groups and performed various activities to analyze our acting and communication skills. Sometimes I felt I am losing my consciousness. But still, I kept doing my work as whenever my heart says don’t do it I remember, what Sachin sir told once ” Niskaam Karm Karna Sikho “. Just do it don’t expect results, Just play your best shot and left rest on the god. I’m confirmed that I will not be selected in next rounds. But my name was on the list for next round.
On the next day, we need to come up with some prop with us. I come up with a badminton racket. In the first round ( Monologue ), I need to deliver my dialogue. But I find it very difficult to remember my dialogues as I am confused between my stammer, acting and dialogue delivery. I really found it very difficult for me. And when I am on stage I forget my dialogues as I am very scared. And in the second round, we need to perform an act with prop and here too we need to make an act in 15 min. and perform it. Again those haunting thoughts of stammer blocked my brain from thinking and even I don’t know what I did at the stage.
I am not selected for next rounds but found this auditions as a new phase in life. Where I realise how theatre focuses on the emotions and behaviour of a human being which we forget while our stammering. Failure is just a stepping stone in direction of success. I decided I will bring this concept of theatres in our SHG meetings too as its one of the most untouched part of a PWS life. I am thinking about talking with various theatre groups in Ahmedabad and Gandhinagar for collaboration with TISA to teach us to use our emotions and behaviours in a more appropriate manner. And we may also go for a theatre workshop for PWS and then we may do some Nukkad Natak too on stammering in various cities of India.
“If you were born with the ability to change someone’s perspective or emotions, never waste that gift. It is one of the most powerful gifts God can give—the ability to influence.”