Disclaimer and some random thoughts

Goa National Conference

Disclaimer

Welcome to TISA home!
We make no claims about curing stammering. We are not therapist. Nor do we refer you to any therapist, clinic or workshop; Nor do we recommend any gadget to eliminate stammering. We respect your right to do what you think is best for you. As peer counselors and social workers, we offer some objective information, some communication tools, some perspectives on human diversity and a community where you are accepted as you are and are encouraged to try out new ideas and approaches to life in a holistic fashion. In short, the royal path of self-help.
Then, there are radical ideas scattered here and there. Dont jump and run as soon as you read “stammering is a diversity and it is the society which needs treatment”! The idea sounds provocative and rather early for its time! But it is based on good science, which deserves your time and inquiry. Check more at this website, which has taught us much.
Read on to find out what we believe and why…

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How to Use

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If it is your first time here, check out the following two tabs first:
What we do : This page gives a glimpse of all the services we are offering freely currently and some ideas as to how you can participate- Self help groups, Online Telegram group, Hangouts,  Mooc etc.

What you can do :  This page gives you more customised ideas on self help and some resources. For example,  over a week, you could browse the self help manual, look at the Seven Steps video, join the National Telegram group- where you could introduce yourself and ask some questions OR just talk to someone on phone, by sharing your phone number and availability. A little later, you could enrol in the mooc and finish the core tasks over next 2-3 months AND start hosting hangouts.  Once a week or so, you could write a post on the blog about your journey, your discoveries and your problem solving episodes. Some months later, after the lock down is lifted, you could join a physical self help group or start one.

Write for Blog: Writing helps tremendously by  freeing us from old pain, old assumptions about the world and by helping us to think more clearly. Regular writing improves spoken communication. There are no literary standards to be met. A genuine, simple write up is always welcome.

Get active, engage, participate – nothing comes to us by hoping, waiting or just reading.

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Our approach, belief and practices: Some snippets

Our Approach

Some snippets on our approach

How do we work

We sensitise and orient people who stammer through free Communication workshops, online interactions and self help group sessions. Get-togethers and National conferences help you build social network, friendships and support groups. We do not offer “Therapy”. We offer friendship instead! We believe that LIFE can be lived fully, before “cure” (if there was one!); that sincere communication is more important than “fluency” in the long run. Finally, we believe that stammerers can be served better, if stammering was seen as a diversity rather than a disorder!

Unending Search

Have you wandered enough? Let’s go home, then. If you stammer, like us, your life must have been a SEARCH. An unending journey, looking for something, someone, which will make you whole. Some treatment, some course, some belief, some gadget. But who can give us that feeling, that vision, that we are OK – not a defective piece on a conveyor belt? Like Kasturi Deer, we have to return to source one day, trailing the scent, emanating from our own soul. This part of journey can be called HOME coming. We welcome you home!

Are you a woman?

Are you a woman?

Indian Women Who Stammer (or IWWS) is the women wing of TISA. IWWS is a group of very different women, with totally different journeys regarding their own speech and in every meeting, whether online or offline, there is one common goal, to empower women on their individual journeys and become their steady companion. We have fun too and ladies are also encouraged to share their other interests, so we get to know each other as a whole person. Read More…

Random Acts of Kindness

Have you ever helped a stranger? Did you remember the nice feeling? Yes, ages of pain, sadness, feelings of not being “good enough” – all this can be blasted away with just one gelatin stick: going out of your way and helping someone who may never be able to pay back. A stranger. You don’t have to give them Tazmahal – just a little help: tell them the address they are looking for, a glass of water or tea, offer them a seat, carry their grocery bag, teach a child Maths/ English, help with home-work, give away your old clothes, offer a meal to a poor man- anything. The royal toad to RECOVERY! Try it today.  Read more

How to Join TISA?

No formalities. Just start by participating in our events, our SHGs. Your stammering is your Platinum member card. Dont hesitate to show it. Write a post about it. Put up a youtube video about what you think about stammering (not what you were told!)- and share the link with us. This is how you volunteer – by participating! You are welcome to start a self help group, near your home, where you work or online. If you have other ideas let us know. But self help group is a good place to learn about TISA, and yourself – and also how you can help other pws and this movement. Read on..

What about Vipassna?

I sometime hold my breath- and then, explode! How do I know when I am going to hold my breath? Many pws have asked such questions. Breath awareness is a special skill. It requires turning attention inwards; being alert and relaxed at the same time. It needs some practice and some instruction. A ten day Vipassana course is highly recommended. It is free. Its usefulness goes FAAAAR beyond stammering and communication. If you have tried all kinds of therapy and Intensive programs and have not benefited in the long run- it is time to check this “systems” approach to personal change and a lot more. Here are some testimonies to prepare you and inspire you: From TanveerPramendra Bundela, Dr Mansi. Get back after the course and share your insights with us.

हिंदी भाषियों के लिए

एक बड़ी आबादी जो हिंदी पढ़ती है

नयी परिभाषा

हकलाना – यानि अपना और दुसरो का हक़ लाना, उन्हें जागरूक बनाना,  समाज की सोच और समझ को बदलना ! बहुत से लोग शायद इस परिभाषा से सहमत न होंगे मगर हमारे लिए यही सटीक अर्थ है हकलाने का | हमारे कई साथी हिंदी में भी निरंतर लिख रहे हैं | यह इतना मुश्किल नहीं .. अपने दिल की बात जरुर साझा करें, किसी भी जुबान में| हिंदी में और पढ़िए  – यहाँ  !  अपना हाथ जगन्नाथ, एक स्वयं सहायता पुस्तक, हिंदी में भी उपलब्ध है  |  एक्सेप्टेंस (acceptance) पर यह हिंदी पुस्तक काफी मददगार होगी |

हकलाहट कोई बाधा नहीं

शाम का वक्त हुआ और हम लोग एक नई रोचक गतिविधि के लिए बाहर निकल पड़े। हमें अनजान लोगों से बात करनी थी। हमें लोगों से होली के बारे में कुछ सवाल पूछने थे और अंत में हकलाहट के बारे में कुछ सामान्य सवाल पूछने थे। इस गतिविधि के लिए मेरे साथी अमित और हर्ष थे। हम बोर्ड आॅफिस चैराहा पर गए और अनजान लोगों से बातचीत की। हकलाहट के बारे में उनकी क्या मानसिकता है, इसके बारे में जाना। सभी का यही कहना था कि हकलाहट एक बीमारी है, जो बच्चों को बचपन में या कभी कभार जन्मजात भी हो सकती है। जो व्यक्ति इस पर हंसता है वह सबसे बड़ा मूर्ख है। … (आगे पढ़ें)

बदली बदली सोच

वहाँ मुझे हकलाने से जुडी मानसिकता और उसके फलसफे के बारे मे पता चला और हकलाने से जुड़े तमाम तरह के भ्रम और सवालो के जवाब मिले और मेरा हकलाने को लेकर नजरिया बिल्कुल बदल गया और फिर मेरे जीवन मे एक नया आयाम आया और मेरा व्यक्तित्व पूरी तरह से रूपांतरित हुआ।। (आगे पढ़ें) 

असली मुद्दा

हमें अपनी सोच को बड़ा बनाना चाहिए और बड़े बदलाव के लिए कार्य करते रहें। हकलाहट से बाहर निकलकर जिन्दगी के अन्य पहलुओं जैसे- नौकरी, विवाह, रिश्ते-नाते, सामाजिक मेलमिलाप आदि क्षेत्रों पर अब अपना ध्यान देने की जरूरत है, तभी हम जीवन का सच्च आनंद उठा पाएंगे।।(आगे पढ़ें) 

हकलाहट के नए आयाम

तीसा द्वारा आयोजित कार्यशालाओं और राष्टीय सम्मेलनों में शमिल होकर मैंने हकलाहट के संबंध में बिल्कुल नए तरह के दृष्टिकोण को विकसित होते हुए पाया। मैं यह दावा नहीं करता कि तीसा में आकर मेरा हकलाना ठीक हो गया है या मैंने धाराप्रवाह बोलना सीख लिया है अथवा अब मेरी हकलाहट क्योर हो गई है। मैं जैसा पहले था, वैसा आज भी हूं। मेरे आसपास जैसा समाज पहले था, वैसा आज भी है। फिर ऐसा कुछ नया मेरे साथ घटित हुआ कि अब मुझे हकलाना सहज, सरल लगने लगा।। और पढ़िए..

हकलाहट का सामना कैसे करें?

अधिकतर समय हकलाने वाले व्यक्ति इसी चिन्ता में रहता है कि पता नहीं, मेरे हकलाने पर लोगों की प्रतिक्रिया क्या होगी? अथवा जब वह हकलाएगा तो लोग क्या कहेंगे? हकलाने वाला व्यक्ति दूसरों के बारे में बार-बार सोचकर खुद परेशान होता रहता है। सच तो यह है कि दूसरे लोग इस बात में अधिक रूचि लेते हैं कि आप क्या बोल रहे हैं, न कि हम कैसे बोल रहे हैं। लोग सहायता की भावना रखते हुए हमारी बातों को सुनने की कोशिश करते हैं। हालांकि बच्चों के मामले में ऐसा नहीं हो पाता। कुछ नाममात्र के लोग ही हकलाहट पर हंसते हैं। उन्हें हंसने दें। आप भी उनके साथ हंसें या उनके उपहास का खुद मजाक उड़ाएं। जो लोग आपकी हकलाहट के प्रति गंभीरता और सहजता प्रदर्शित करते हैं, तो उनसे बात करें, चाहे आप हकला रहे हों तब भी। हकलाहट को छिपाएं मत।. और पढ़िए

Interesting Ideas

Some interesting, radical Ideas..

Why Accept?

TISA does not offer CURE, since there is none. Instead, we discuss self-help which leads to recovery from stammering mindset. Let us repeat: There is no cure for stammering BUT there is a cure for stammering mindset, which account for 99% of stammering, as we know it. For this we need to focus on RIGHT goals. Instead of focusing on fluency, we offer Communication skills as a SUPERIOR goal for self-help.  This shift in focus can happen only when we accept the reality of the present moment as it is, instead of living in denial or fighting it blindly. This website is governed by these principles.

Disorder, Diversity or Politics?

Is stammering a “speech” disorder, a diversity (different manner of talking) or oppression – 99% telling the 1% how to speak? This is a very interesting debate, which has intensified in recent years, as more and more pws with a background in SOCIAL sciences have joined the discussion. Earlier, the scene was dominated by SLPs and the discussion was limited to techniques, relapse and research methodology alone.

If we recall our childhood, many of us will remember that we personally had no problem with our manner of talking. It was others who kept on reminding that something is wrong and “YOU” have to do something about it. They had no clue that they too had a role to play as listeners. Many of us were literally bullied into therapy – if the family could afford it.

It was like a child from a village, who was being manipulated or forced to learn English, so that s/he will have a “Bright future”! This points to the politics of stammering and therapy. This was captured well in these lines in a review recently: ” there is a psychological cost in striving for normalcy, and that SLPs are often complicit in creating the desire to be normal within stutterers…”

If you are interested in exploring this dimension of your life, please check these resources. Let me warn you at the outset: the ideas are RADICAL and presume that you have some grounding in social sciences. Give it a try – you have nothing to lose- except shame, fear and guilt.

Articles which analyse assumptions behind speech therapy ( I have quoted from, above)..

An interesting discussion: Is it possible to have speech therapy that doesn’t also teach there is something wrong with your voice that needs to be fixed?

Happy reading and exploring!

Interview, Career and woh

Do you think, you have failed Interviews just because you stammer? You guess your boss knows about your stammering but you yourself have never talked about it in your office, have you? You have never told your colleagues about TISA? You have never displayed the memento or the group photo from the last NC at your office table?

Aha, no wonder, you feel uncomfortable in your office! And that affects your communication in the office where you spend 8+ hours everyday. On the other hand, what can a company or manager do, to get the best out of her/his team members, who may happen to stammer besides being excellent SEO experts? Because productivity is a team effort, is it not? To learn more about this aspect of our work life, read on these links from our own Abhinav (Banglore SHG). (link 1)

You change by DOING

Not by “thinking” or “knowing”! Please browse around; Check “If You Stammer” page above; You may register and leave behind a post on our blog. Share about yourself and your journey. Feel free to join a self help group in your area – OR start a new one. Here is a broader list. Fire off an email to info@stammer.in. One of us will get in touch. Whatever! Just don’t give up! You have reached home – finally! If you want to “test waters” check out our online sessions, regularly announced in Telegram National group..

Stammering and beyond

The first step on this long journey is accepting upfront that I am facing a problem, that I stammer – no less, no more. Discovering that you alone can help yourself – but by receiving and giving help: this is the second step. Third step is going to the heart of the stammering riddle: Communication! Because, you have seen enough of those slick talkers who speak very well but say nothing! Therefore, focus on the big picture: Conveying the meaning.

Like everyone else under the sun, we the stammerers, also have to practice and hone our communication skills. What better place to practice it, than in the company of one another? Yes, self-help groups, physical and virtual, constitute a major evolutionary strategy in our search for healing, wholeness and inner acceptance.

And now comes the final and the longest bungee jump, for those who have stumbled their way to the “cliff”: If I am not my stammering, nor my fluency, then who am I? to what purpose was I given this life experience? These are the spiritual questions, which sooner or later arise in our heart. So, stammering, when courageously followed, can take you on to your deepest search, beyond fluency, beyond words, beyond our little worlds.

We do not offer answers. We only walk with you- in solidarity. Your quest is ours too. And believe us, it is a long journey- but fun, when undertaken with like-minded people.

Does Humor help?

Yes, if it is coming from a place of acceptance, strength and celebration. Can you laugh at your own blocks? Can you laugh at funny situations caused by stammering in YOUR life? Then, you can rapidly move on and become a good communicator and a genuine & social person!

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Yes, if it is coming from a place of acceptance, strength and celebration. Can you laugh at your own blocks? Can you laugh at funny situations caused by stammering in YOUR life? Then, you can rapidly move on and become a good communicator and a genuine social person! We use humor WISELY in our workshops and meetings, like holding the longest stutter competition or weird jokes round. Our role plays use humor to help pws go on stage, speak and laugh.

“Hakla Planet” was a role play theme, where many role plays were staged during Goa National conference, exploring various situations where fluent people are in minority (1%) and hence facing constant discrimination from a planet full of pws (Hakla Planet). But the fact that I laugh at myself does not give you the permission to do so. If you do, I have every right to object. It is like, a father in a fit of anger, may shout at his child but the neighbor can not take the same liberty.

But humor, from a place of acceptance and strength can take you up, out of a traffic jam into the blue sky-  like a hot air balloon,:

Message from Harish

Message for Women

कैसे बात करें?

Try out seven steps to recovery and or join the mooc, a self paced free online course 

Mooc Intro

Seven Steps (Hindi)

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