The Mindful Fight: Responding to Stammering with Awareness and Acceptance

The Three Tendencies of Human Behaviour: Fight, Flight and Freeze

Human beings, like animals, generally respond to challenging situations in three ways: Fight, Flight, or Freeze. While some animals are more commonly associated with one response—such as strong animals with fight, birds and fast-moving animals with flight, and reptiles with freeze—humans can experience all three.

In this blog, let us talk about the first response: Fight, especially in the context of stammering.

When a person who stammers anticipates a difficult or challenging word, the brain may remember the previous struggle even before the word is spoken. The body then starts preparing to fight the word—to push it out with extra effort. This excessive struggle can lead to secondary movements and physical tension.

So, how can we train our mind to fight the fear and struggle, rather than fight the word itself?

1. Voluntary Stammering: Voluntary stammering can work almost magically—but only with consistent practice. By intentionally stammering in a controlled and relaxed manner, we teach the brain that stammering is not something to fear or escape from. Gradually, the brain learns to speak with less struggle, while the body learns to respond more naturally.

2. Bouncing: Bouncing helps shift our attention away from the fear of the challenging word. By gently repeating the initial sound of a word, we reduce the pressure to say it perfectly in one attempt. In the beginning, we may need to bounce four or five times, but with regular practice, the struggle can gradually reduce, and we may eventually be able to say the word with just one or two gentle bounces.

Before learning about this aspect of human behaviour, I used to fight my stammer with unnecessary force. Whenever I anticipated a difficult word, I would struggle for several seconds—sometimes getting stuck in a block for nearly five seconds. This often resulted in my face turning red, unusual facial expressions, secondary movements, and, most importantly, a lot of embarrassment.

But things have started changing with mindfulness and practice. Now, when I stammer or feel a block coming, I first take a conscious pause instead of fighting the word. Then, depending on the situation, I use techniques like bouncing or prolongation. Surprisingly, even if I get stuck, I can often say the word by my third or fourth attempt.In my closer circle and with my family, I have also started enjoying voluntary stammering. What surprises me most is the change in my mindset. Instead of feeling tense or embarrassed, I sometimes find myself in a surprisingly funny, relaxed, and playful mood—something I had never experienced before while stammering.

I have realised that so much of this journey is about mindfulness and, above all, acceptance. The moment we stop fighting ourselves and become aware of what is happening within us, we begin to discover a completely different way of responding to our stammer.The real fight is not against stammering—it is against the fear, tension, and struggle that we have developed around it. When we stop fighting the word and start training our mind to face it calmly, speaking can gradually become more natural and free.