Memories and memories..

Someone asked TISA about role of memories and should these be shared in SHG. We are sharing the answer so that everyone benefits, especially those who are involved with SHGs. Role of Memories in continuation of stammering: The current belief is that neurologically, memories and related emotional and physiological responses and closely connected (wired) in the brain. You pull one strand accidentally and the whole tangle of the root and the plant gets pulled out. If last time you stammered in presence of your in-laws, and you felt very bad for your spouse – then, whenever you talk to your in-laws, your mind may recall the embarrassment of that moment – and then you may feel fearful, tense and suddenly you may find that you have started stammering uncontrollably. Why does these negative memories hold such power over us? It is because we have invested lot of emotional and psychic energy in these negative experiences. It is because we have given them a special status in our lives- by keeping them secret. The way out: The way out is simple but needs courage. If you can share these memories, feelings, experiences with others whom you trust, by talking, writing, acting out (simulation, role plays), a few times, you will be free of them. Self help group is the best place for this- but not the only place. You could also share these events with your spiritual teacher (Guide or Confessor), close friend, parents or anyone you trust and respect. Even writing a blog or a poem on web can help to dissipate these memories and feelings. When this has been done couple of times, the memories become like a thoroughly washed out water color painting- it is there but has no power on you. There are a few things to be kept in mind: is the other person ready and capable of dealing with your pain? Of listening to you? Is the time and place appropriate? Will the other person respect your privacy? Are you doing this with correct attitude of helping yourself to rise above your past? And not to seek just sympathy? Etc. PS: This applies to many emotional issues rooted in past. But I will not advise you to share your financial memories on a blog- just in case Income Tax officers are browsing !!