My life, My Ambition

My Name is Tapok Kena, iam 21 years old, from Arunachal Pradesh. Here I want to share about my life in a brief.

At the age of 15 years I gave attention on my stammering as it was created hinder to communication, I used to substituted my word widely and life goes out as it is. But when i reached in the college then it was created lots of difficulties to me, even I couldn’t able to speak my name. It were well know to everyone that Fresher-meet had happened in every college life. I was also attended and performed all tasks what seniors had said to do so. But when introductory time comes, I was literally shaken, nervous, anxiety, etc. When sinor asked my District, I was substituted with Daporijo instead of Upper Subansiri. Time had passes with substituting every words.

But, one day when our teachers said that there should have been a presentation & everyone should participate either Hindi and English. I was no option, it was boud to participated because it was assignment cum Marks.

As I prepared myself by practicing in front of mirror, day and Night as tried to be speak fluently as similar as Shashi Tharoor. When my presentation turn came up i was literally Shaken, anxiety, nervous, sweat, etc. I had started speaking like my Name is “Ta..a…a..a..a…a..po…o…o..ok Ke….e…ee..ee…na”. Iam stammer every single word in front of teachers & my class mates. All laughing at me with loudly. I totally undergone in a depression as to Know everything but couldn’t express to other. Why? Why? My knowledge waste, such negativity mindset developed in my mind.

Meanwhile, I remember Swami Vivekananda one Quote ” In a day, when you don’t come across any problems & hurdles, you can be sure that you are in a wrong Direction”. Thereafter, I talk to myself that Tapok you are in right path as you have a born with problems and these problems will definitely be make you a strong person, let’s bear it and fight it. At that time, I had search on You or elsewhere about how to cure stammering, people recommended stammerers should speak slowly, then I had tried to do so.

After few months ago, again another teacher gave us to assignment to presentation but there was no any compulsory to presentation any particular students, basically teacher divided some groups out of each group there would presentation only two or three students. Instantly, I had raised my hand to presentation and prepared again in front of mirror and family. The days were came up to presentation, and I had been again stand up with strong mindset and gave my presentation with stammering, people laughing, nonetheless gave my presentation.

Thereafter, I felt very relaxed but internally I was sad, I had been share this things to my mother, she gave me motivation and motivated me as to speak slowly as much as possible. It is fine, don’t worry. Such motivation always kept me high and josh.

My Ambition is to become a Civil Servant but when I was child I was aspire to become Scientist, but unfortunately I was not qualified for science stream due to the low percentage particularly in Physics, chemistry and Biology. In Government school it was compulsory to obtain more than 60 marks in Science and Maths those students who want to opted for science, I wasn’t qualified, then I had opted for commerce and further completed my High school.

Why I wanted to become Civil Servant? As we know civil servants has huge power to developed society and can widely help to poor one in a better life. As I had also been belong from poor family comprehensively know what poor family going through like financial problem, etc. Despite of saying India is poor country and coruption, we should work directly towards nation Building by becoming IAS, IPS, IRS, etc.

On other hand, I just want to be make proud to my mom and dad, both were faces lots of problems since there marriage. I used to thought that life is short, no one know when incidents would happen, therefore, I want to gave a happy life to my and dad. When I would make them proud, that days was my happiest day of my life.

With this positivity, stammer created hurdles for me, as we all know interview was the biggest challenge. I used to saw interview on You Tube, they were effectively communicated and fluently imparts thier answer to the interviewers. I used to perceive myself, can I do so? Yes! If Joe Bidden ( US president) or other can do so, why not me!. Of course I can.

I was follow TISA Facebook page since long time, one day I was saw regarding Free Course, something like that, and iam immediately fill up forms. At the very outset, I was anware about what they would taught, I just join and after Joining about two to three days, all TISA facilities were excellent! They asked every morning about our day task and gave motivation. Most importantly, they were taught us effective techniques like bouncing, prolongation, push etch. Which very effective at large extent.

TISA taught us Acceptance about stammering, Stammering in front of people is not a crime, this sort of thing really help us psychology. With help of TISA Heroes we yet not felt ashamed of stammering, now iam stammer openly in front of people. On the whole, I learnt from TISA self- group that Acceptance, decipline, smile, Haklao lekin peyar se and so on. Don not believe that you are weak, stand up and fight till goal.