TISA Membership

(A humorous piece on TISA)

TISA membership is entirely free. You can join and leave anytime. In fact, you can join it just before your campus interview and leave it five minutes later. In the US Visa interview, you can leave our membership midway, soon after the introduction rounds are safely over. TISA is another name for flexibility and freedom. And no fee, mind you. Shakespeare very aptly said two centuries ago: Thou cometh and goeth, as you wisheth- since your block too cometh and goeth as it wisheth! 

Right?

So here are the types of membership we offer to our esteemed clients:

1. Givers Platinum Card: This is for those pws who want to join and give, give, give – and who give freely merchandise like advice, remedies, inspirational links, free pdf, job openings, stock exchange secrets, and granny tales:

Myrobalan cured my cousin. Take one everyday, Even Vasishth Geeta mentions it..

My cousin from USA told me Riboflavin cures stammering..

Turn the tip of your tongue upward and press it hard into your palate- hold it. This mudra is described in Patanjali Sutra. It worked for me. I am working now as Air Traffic controller..

My company is hiring entry level programming jobs. Here is the link..

Don’t invest in Steel products. Go for stocks of XYZ company…

They also give you advice on how to get one GB free data etc. They are inspired by the famous line from Khalil Gibran:
All you have shall someday be given; Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors’.

These members rarely talk of ideas promoted by TISA. Why should they, in a democracy? But they certainly keep our forums buzzing and spiced up with free giving. Thanks to them, many pws have joined the stock market and are doing very well, as per the last update.

2. Lurkers Gold Card: This membership is for those pws who join, leave a one-line intro and then, go to Manchuria on a secret mission. They check the forum once in a while for any sign of suspicious sleeper cell activity. They make a mental note but say nothing in the forum. They leave no trace. But if you remove them accidentally, they come at you with all guns blazing! Full of righteous anger, they roar back: Who are you to remove me? Tisa is as much mine as yours! Don’t think that I am not doing anything. I am helping pws quietly- without a big show. I am developing a silent but powerful lobby to fight for pws community- we will have job reservations for all pws by 2025. You just see..

3. Monitors’ Diamond Card: The saying goes that some people are born monitors while certain others are forced into it. These members belong to the first category. They were born to monitor others. Soon after they join the forum, they start monitoring the group for any suspicious activity. They pounce on other newcomers: No, you can not post here your birthday pictures! No, you can not type in Tamil here! SMS language is not allowed. And your audio message is full of background noise etc. etc. 

Believe me, nobody has asked them to be the monitor in the TISA group, but how long can you suppress a noble trait like that? A diamond may be buried under tons of dirt, but eventually, it shines forth. 

How do we deal with such diamonds – did you ask? Very easy, we ask them to complete MOOC first and then return. 

4. Budding Entrepreneur Card: This is meant for intelligent people who are setting up their own stammering cure business. They make 5-6 profiles from different numbers and then start a harmless conversation to promote their own channel or their own MSME (stammering cure); This is how they start a conversation to lure greenhorns in the group:

Anil: Has anyone heard about XBT? What is it?

Moderator: Please don’t talk about it here.

Anil: I just want to know. That is all. I am sorry.

Kamal: I know one person who has been cured by it. That is what he told me, when I met him in Kumbh mela in 2021.

Vikas: Yes, why should we accept stammering, when it can be cured? I found more information about it on this blog: www.xyzCure.bz

(Moderator is mulling over deleting the above link. In the meantime, others begin to respond)

Anil: Actually I met a bus conductor the other day who said: Oh, you can not even buy a ticket in the bus! Why don’t you go to Haklapur? There’s a XBT cure centre there. That is why I asked about it in this forum. Anyone been to Haklapur?

Pratap: Yes, I too have heard of him- the guy who runs this centre. Everybody criticises him because he is not a doctor. He doesn’t have a degree. But so what? He has cured himself and now his mission is: Hakla Mukt Bharat! He wants to help every pws.

Vikas: Yes! Who cares if he asks for 15 K ! Once my stammering is cured, I can earn crores. Right?

By this time, the moderator is in a long block (=shock). He does not know what to do. But, you I am sure, have figured out that Anil, Vikas, Kamal, and Pratap are one and the same person, who has also put up the jazzy website: Cure stammering under seven minutes in the privacy of your HOME!

For this menace, we have started a new practice: All the newcomers have to submit a 7-minute self-intro video. We send it to NASA and their face recognition software tells us if the person is here only to recruit sheep- sorry, I mean – clients, OR he is a genuine pws looking for help. 

Finally, there are those few pws who just want to volunteer and therefore need no membership card. They just join, take up a useful role in TISA and begin to serve others wholeheartedly. If Earth continues around the Sun in its orbit year after year, if the day follows the night faithfully, and if the spring blooms forth after every winter- it is all because of these handfuls of volunteers- who have understood the spirit of selfless service, learned the nitty-gritty of stammering and TISA’s approach. God bless them.