Accept the Truth and Move on

I am an engineering graduate in Electrical Engineering from NIT Kurukshetra of the 2012-2017 batch. I got placed in a core electrical company straightaway in my final year. But after 3-4 months of job I decided to quit that job and try for IES/GATE exam. I got selected in Gate exam and was selected in the final merit list of M.tech from IIT Delhi, but I didn’t join it and continued preparation for my IES exam and again in between this I got selected in state electricity government department for the post of an engineer. But I didn’t join that one too. I am currently preparing for IES only.

Well now the fact is that I am a stammerer, I stammer from as long as I remember, but it got worse when I went for taking coaching classes in KOTA as I was a victim of caste assault by my own friends as I belonged to a reserved category. I didn’t talked to anyone in those 2 years and was in serious depression like I used to cry in my room for long hours daily and in all that my stammering overtook me , I failed to get good marks in IIT but somehow managed to get good marks in JEE-Mains to get admission to NIT. Stammering followed me there too and it made me a boy who never wanted to talk to anyone and all that stuff. But during this time I noticed that I can sing properly without stammering, and from childhood I had some strange connection with music. I learnt music on my own in college day and night because like everyone else I didn’t use to go out with friends and talk for hours because I knew I won’t be able to talk. I learnt Piano, guitar, flute and singing all on my own. I produce some music too nowadays just for my passion. But the story is that I think if I would’t had stammering I wouldn’t had learnt music any day. But the horrible experiences which I had due to stammering were many to countless. I couldn’t answer the question to which i knew the answer. In practical Labs viva , presentation. Every one prepared for the content only but I had to prepare first the content and then practice it for countless hours so that I would not stutter.

Well I think stammering made me a person like that who likes spending his day on constantly improving himself everyday rather than visiting places, doing parties and all that cool stuff( which people call!). I stammered in my Job interview too but I always maintained a great attitude and I got selected. The same happened while i was giving the interview for IIT. Because only a stammerer knows the fear of interviews. You do not fear what questions you will be asked, you always fear whether you will be able to give your intro properly or not, will you be able to speak properly and you practice that for countless hours. I don’t know how other people feel but me as a stammerer know that nothing comes for granted and with that i mean even the ability to speak clearly too..!

I still fear what will happen if i get selected in IES exam for the interview part only, because I know the rest is all what is in my hand (the prelims and written exam). Well the mind of a stammerer is just a mystery!!! and I hope all people who don’t stammer try to understand us. and to all the stammerers I just want to say that don’t get stuck in your life, because of this. Let the ony thing that stucks be your speech only.. hahaaaa!!! and LET IT GO!!!! Accept the Truth and move on !!

Nikhil Lekhra
Rajastan

(Watch Nikhil’s MOOC introduction video- exclusively featured on TISA blog!)