Long Journey, Short Distance

The Breaking Point

I still remember the day, It was a sunny afternoon. I went to a clinic and I wasn’t able to utter my name in front of the doctor, instead, I made many facial expressions in front of him. The doctor seems to have never seen a PWS in live, he was feeling awkward and so I. At last, he put my name as “Boy” in the prescription. I felt ashamed, broke. I returned home. Then I ask my friend Google how to cure stammering. From the search result, I was attracted to TISA. I called Sharath and he gracefully invited me to the next SHG on Sunday.

The SHG Day

Sunday came and I started my journey towards Cubbon park. Weather in Bengaluru was nice and clear. But I didn’t seem to enjoy it because there were many thoughts going in my head. What is SHG? How many people are there? Can I be able to speak? Can stammering be cured? In summary, I was uncomfortable, not confident and filled with fear. I called Naman, he was the coordinator and he guided me towards a small hut.

For the first time I saw more than 10 PWS in a group, and for the first time, I felt comfortable to share my thoughts freely in front of everyone. I saw Shobhit, Mohit, Dinesh, Naman, Anupam, Pramod and others and suddenly all my questions were gone. I felt relaxed, I felt confident and most importantly I got to know about myself in a better and in a deeper way. That day I returned to my home, instead of cursing my stammering, I slept soundly. I felt that I am more than a stammerer, I am a good observer, a good lister and quick learner.

The self-realization

Then came the communication workshop, first time organised by Bengaluru SHG. I have joined without any second thought. How can I miss it? This time I saw Sachin sir and a positive vibe ran through me. The two days of the workshop was the best day of my stammering journey. I got to know about my stammering in detail. I recorded my video and saw my facial expression. Then I pity that doctor who saw the same. I also got to know about the Acceptance and techniques to apply. Mostly it helps me to change my thinking process towards communication and fluency. I knew I had already started my journey and there a lot to go.

Life goes on

Some months went, I got a job opportunity outside of India. I started to miss SHG. But the recent Covid-19 came with an opportunity. SHG started to move online. Not only SHG, but there are also many hangout sessions on a daily basis. I joined many and it was a thrilling experience.

One day I decided to host a hangout session. There was no fear, uncomforted or other negative thought. I just hosted. It went nice, many people joined and at last, I remember that incident at the clinic. I realised the change in me. It’s a small change but I am satisfied. I have travelled long with TISA. But it’s not a bridge to cross, it’s a journey to travel and miles to go.

– Subrat Panda, Bengaluru SHG