An Abandoned Leaf by Neeraj

Author: Neeraj Brahmankar

Neanderthals were the first who gave voices to their thoughts. Speaking is a socially learned tool of communication and it is the vital blessing bestowed upon human beings which separate us from other mammels.

What happens when someone is not able to speak in a fluent way?

I was five years old when doctors found symptoms of stammer in me. Right from the childhood, I had too much to express but due to the raging war inside, I could not give my thoughts a voice. In a bid to speak fluently, my words dragged its heels. My childhood had been enveloped in the gloom of stammer and I had fought a long battle against it. I was humiliated and people used to mock at me. My stammering had “different shades”. It was much more complex than it appeared from the outside.

I had no other choice than living this life with courage and seek the best ways for survival. I decided to take control of my life and not let my stammer dictate my journey. I decided to rise above my disability.

Enfeebled by love and sympathy, I had no one with whom I could share my feelings.

Because of this, I started writing; you can say it was the turning point of my life. I have been pouring my heart out onto paper since school days. When you have too much to say, means of communication become important and urgent. I had a lot to express, so I started writing and blogging. In other words, I started following my passion. I knew that whether I screamed or whimpered in pain, there would be no one around – except a piece of paper.

Unfortunately, it takes courage to conciliate the stutter talk when people mock you. To come out of the prison of silence, all that I needed was hope.

There was a hope, engraved in my soul, and it acted like a compass showing me the direction. I have defeated my stammer with my own efforts without any speech therapy.

I needed a platform from where I could share my journey. I believe “when you want something by heart, universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

I wanted to write my story. Some people frowned at me when I told them about my ideas. Nevertheless, I had to stick my neck out to do something for myself.

We all know that “God help those who help themselves.”

So, I joined many literary forums. I became a guest writer in ‘The Ancient Souls’ where I met Mahnoor Naseer, a young enthusiast and writer, soul in its purest form. She told me about ‘The Stories Untold, Season 2’ competition organized by Daastan. The theme of the competition was ‘A War Within’.

Thoughts began to trigger my consciousness. There was a war within; it was between my mind and vocal cords. This is how I connected the dots and decided to take a leap of faith. By the grace of Almighty, I managed to clinch the sixth place in the competition of such a magnitude. I had no idea then that I would end up as a published author across the border.

I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to interact with brilliant minds, and I think words cannot express the gratitude I feel when I think about what team Daastan did for me.

Writer, Neeraj Brahmankar, is a civil engineer, currently pursuing his masters in sociology. He is an ardent writer who depicts the pain of the ordinary men through writing and has a keen interest in philosophy. He is also a classical harmonium player who finds solace in music.

The writer’s book is available here: https://www.meraqissa.com/book/103